PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize