i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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