im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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