from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
