i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Couch. On fire.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
