at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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