She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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