I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
