i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
