I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
