I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
