I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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