Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
