Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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