I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
