He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
