i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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