When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
