Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
