so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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