"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
