remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
