i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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