If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
