Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
