We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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