hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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