it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
