"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize