Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
