the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
