On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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