I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
