My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize