If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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