Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
