Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Too much gin, very little bucket
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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