Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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