i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
