I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
