I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
