After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
