thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
