The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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