I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3pm strippers are depressing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
