We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
