Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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