Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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