Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
