You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
