so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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