What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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