dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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