I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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