i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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