There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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