And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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