just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk is not a location!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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