Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So much rum. So many feels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
