i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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