in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
