Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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