Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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