i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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